Masters HolesThe Masters golf tournament is coming up. Like any true sports analyst, I looked for parallels between the event and immature sex jokes. A juicy one was there for the taking. All the holes at Augusta National golf course have names. And I think I'm on the mark when I say that all of the names could also be a sex move:
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There are some names out there that just scratch me right where I itch, be it because I like the sound, they make me double-take, whatever. They’re just gorgeous. A sampling (mostly athletes, with one actor thrown in):
Barkevious Mingo (NFL) - Oops I barkevioused my mingoes. Vontaze Burfict (NFL) - This name is almost berfect. Thorbjorn Olesen (PGA) - Just feels good to say. Thorbjorn. Sort of like Godsteve. Shingo Katayama (PGA) Suburban DadcrotchIt's easily on of my favorite things to do: listen for funny-sounding phrases in everyday conversation, and imagine it as the name of a band. For example, on the way to a rehearsal dinner last summer, someone else in the car noticed a men's spa. We were confused as to what exactly that was. He asked, "Is that like some sort of modern bathhouse?" I immediately replied, "Dunno, but that's a great band name. You just have to imagine a PA announcer excitedly yelling, for example, "Ladies and gentlemen...Modern Bathhouse!" Roars from the crowd. Some other gems I've actually heard in conversation:
The Wikipedia Game I once told a coworker that I was pretty sure I could get to the Wikipedia article for "Jesus Christ" within three clicks from any other article. She was skeptical, so we put aside less important matters, like completing the tasks for which we were being paid, and put me to the test. I might have had to use four clicks one time, but I was pretty good at it. But what followed was even more fun.
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Chris AbellYou can contact him here. Archives
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