I'M NOT ALONE.
At least that's what I took from the S-Town podcast. If you haven't listened to it, stop reading my stupid blog right now and immediately listen to it. It's...it's better than my blog (at least until I give this more time and turn it into a world-dominating website). Anyway, as I do, I took one of the least important details of something and am now making it about me: in one of the episodes, a character says something like, "You so good, my legs so tired." Other character's response? "Sounds like a good name for a sexy nail polish color." (Or something to that effect.)
Which of course means it's NORMAL that I write down phrases I hear in everyday conversation because I think they would be funny band names. Also I don't just write them down. I interrupt people, even if I just met them, and say, "That'd be a great band name." Really good social skill.
Anyway, here are a few recent gems that have actually come up:
Whisper of Spice
World-Dominating Website (From earlier. Like a few lines up.)
Ecosystem of Wealth (sounds like a crossword puzzle clue)
My Turkish Grandmother
Skeptical Store Dog
Big Danish Goaltender
Happy to answer any questions re: the context in which any of these phrases actually came up. But in the meantime,
Ladies and gentlemen...SOCIAL TOFU!!!!
Several years ago I went to a good friend's 25th birthday party. Twenty-five is a big one: you've hit the quarter-century mark, you start to feel old for the first time, you can legally rent a car. My close friend deserved a nice gift from me to celebrate his meaningful milestone. So naturally I proceeded to give him a Dutch Masters bobblehead ashtray I stumbled upon at a gas station on the way to the party.
I like to give thoughtful gifts.
Well, a little Georgia golf tournament I went to recently has a well known tagline: "A tradition unlike any other: The Masters." Back when I presented my dear friend with his favorite birthday present of all time, I was very proud of myself for coming up with, "A European tradition unlike any other: The Dutch Masters."
Since I've basically been Mastersbating all week, it has occurred to me that a nice little time-passer is to insert an adjective before "tradition" to come up with some wonderful slogans. A few:
Image via YouTube by PGA of Australia
You might have heard that a feisty little Spaniard won the Masters on Sunday. You might also have heard the crowd chant his name after he sunk the winning putt (at around 40 seconds in the video): "SER-GI-O! SER-GI-O!" And you might even have heard Jim Nantz comment on the chant.
Well, guess what? I started it.
So it was a bit scary to publicize that first blog post, but it's important to emphasize that:
1) I'm fine.
And, more importantly:
2) Tons and tons of people live happy, productive lives even while struggling with mental health issues.
Depression, bipolar disorder, social anxiety disorder, OCD, ADD, ADHD, etc. etc. are chronic illnesses. So are arthritis, asthma, diabetes, osteoporosis, Crohn's disease, sleep apnea, etc. etc. The latter six afflictions are for the most part discussed without shame or stigma. The former? Not so much.
I Have OCD
NOTE: I'd encourage you to comment if you feel so moved! I want to people to feel comfortable talking about mental health and am hoping this site can do at least a tiny bit to make that happen a little more.
I finally caved on a weeknight during my seventh-grade year, as I sat at the kitchen table trying but failing yet again to do my homework. Maybe “caved” isn’t the right way to put it; maybe that moment—when I put down my pencil, wiped the tears of frustration from my ruddy cheeks, and walked into the living room to tell my parents that something was wrong—is when I started. It’s the moment I keep coming back to as the first time I sought help for what I now know is very real obsessive-compulsive disorder.
The symptoms began to surface well before seventh grade.